gimme dat becky.
i am really amazing at putting myself into super awkward//weird situations- that have no resolution. sucks
my life story.
why?
does my roommate ALWAYS use the bathroom with the door open? is that totally necessary? i do not want to hear your turdlets plopping into the toilet water after you just peed and i know its splashing back up on you! c’mon man. if you know you’re going to poop close the daggon door.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
it don’t make sense goin to heaven with the goodie-goodies
dressed in white, i like black timbs and black hoodies
when i die fuck it i wanna go to hell cuz im a piece of shit it aint hard to fuckin tell. it dont make sense going to heaven wit the goody goodies dressed in white i like black timbs and black hoodies. god’ll prolly have me on some real strict shit, no sleepin all day no gettin my dick licked! rollin with the goody goodies loungin in paradise, fuck that shit. i wanna tote guns and shoot dice.
love that song, what you know about biggie?
I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. In my neighborhood, there are four black people. Hundreds of houses, four black people. Who are these black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay-Z and Eddie Murphy. Only black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down, let’s break it down: me, I’m a decent comedian. I’m a’ight. Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a fucking dentist! He ain’t the best dentist in the world…he ain’t going to the dental Hall of Fame…He don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist. See, the black man gotta fly to get to something’ the white man can walk to.
“
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Chris Rock (via spokenbeats) and there are probably no latinos either. tisk tisk, we needa change that. |
oui!Performance- Wet Tee Tea Party (Like a Virgin)lmao i am SO upset i missed this.
I am redoing it within the month, would you like to be invited?
i’ll never understand why people will interact with me in the context of class or the internet but pretend i dont exist in public
exactly. that is why i got rid of facebook b.c its so superficial. DONT BE FAKE BITCH lol jk
Apologia
This is my apology for critique number two. I have an apology not in the quotidian sense of the word referring to repentance, but in the context implying a written justification on behalf of my defense. Specifically this is a defense against my own admittance of defeat. I do not apologize (meaning to express remorse) for my loss of interest in this sculpture that I have abandoned. Instead I focus on my decision for abandonment of this particular project. My project or lack there of, culminates from unfamiliarity due to the openness of this assignment which has proven to be an obstacle for this critique. I was unable to become attached to an idea necessary for a sculpture. When I birthed an idea and began the construction I grew less and less dedicated. I forced myself to stick with the idea, wasting money as well as time. I have never had such a reaction to any piece of art I created. I start to ask myself why now? What enacted this response? Am I simply taking the cowardly route of surrender over something I was unsure how to conquer? Should I even feel remorse if that is the case? Why is it wrong to change my mind or to refuse acceptance of sub-par performance in an effort to show a finished product?
Art school has produced these questions in my mind and in analyzing the path to my decision I begin to wonder why is it that we feel apologetic for vacating an idea. I’ve begun with the concept that abandonment symbolizes loss. As humans we shun forfeit and I see this abandonment as a forfeit of my confidence. As artists we must dedicate an immense amount of confidence into everything we attempt because without this esteem how can we create an inherit value to something that an audience as well will merit? Excuses are commonly made in order to justify what we create. I don’t plan on making an excuse in an attempt at justification because a lot of justifications sum up to generalizations and in my opinion that is the more cowardly of the two. The “two” being acceptance of defeat versus dedication to an initial idea while in the process losing your interest. Normally when one loses interest they formulate a new idea and just forget why they disregarded the original impetus. The fact that it is Tuesday coupled with the fact that my critique is on Thursday didn’t allow the renaissance of a new idea. I am not willing to conjure up a reluctant idea for a project so I have some thing to display nor am I willing to hurriedly put together something dissatisfactory in my opinion. In art school so much depends upon the what, how, when, and where of presenting an object. So much is wrapped up within that, that many times one’s own true feelings are oppressed by the more cognitive conscience which knows that if I don’t turn something in the consequences are destructive. But why turn in something that isn’t valued in order to get a grade? Chances are that if the dedication isn’t present the grade won’t be either.
On Tuesday’s critique the notion of “risk taking” was mentioned over and over. I began to wonder what does this term actually mean. I see it in relation to the problem with having an object to show and abandoning ideas in time to concoct a new thing. It is a phrase that has become so overused that in my opinion it debases the subject it objectifies. To claim something as a “risk” is the refusal to accept a failure at any level. A risk is commonly defined as a dangerous chance and more commonly used when we discuss a project that didn’t succeed in all aspects. Why is this a risk and not a failure? There is an avoidance to admit to this lack of success. Deeming it a risk glorifies the courage inferred by trying something unknown. One can point out that if we become too critical of someone trying something new that this will deter any type of innovation, but why is this context of risk more accepted? Why is taking a risk a valid justification for inferiority or is it not?
The constant critique that goes on under this roof is indiscriminate to the value of anything created here and is unseen in any other field outside of the arts. This is why accepting defeat and the endurance of one’s loyalty to an idea is an interest I introduce and something of much distinction. So often we claim quittance as pusillanimity or cowardice. Many times while working on a project we get frustrated or overwhelmed and want to quit. Many don’t and many do. What creates this division? We’ve talked before in class about formulating an idea and sticking with it so rigorously that one sacrifices the integrity of the piece. This is important because with out this ideal a lot of things would never get accomplished, but at the same time this yields mediocrity.
In this Apology I determine to defend my volition to not rush up another idea and create something literally just for show. I stand by my choice to quit the sculpture presented because as a student it is important that I analyze these decisions and occurrences instead of casually moving onto the next idea frantically pulling all nighters to complete some thing. Nor do I see this as a “cop-out” as is frequently coined by my peers to define something thought of as unfair because of a lack of effort. I clearly tried to create something or else I would not have continued to purchase wood and screws up until Monday if I knew Tuesday would fester an insatiable apathy for this sculpture. However it was not a sudden burst of lethargy that struck me this eve. It has been encroaching since I began, but I intended on “toughing it out” to the end until I concluded that it would be more impacting to write this. Inspired by Martin Luther’s “95 Theses” as well as The Apology of Socrates I wanted to stake my claim for distinct dissatisfactions within the realm of art school.
It is essential to note that I do acknowledge the fact that unlike Martin Luther perhaps I have not achieved the status allowing me to express my dissent in such a defiant (although totally spontaneous) manner. Being a student means doing things despite the circumstances and forcing oneself into uncomfortable positions in order to learn. However I find akin to Socrates that I needed to defend my choice that this as well is an important learning experience. I do not see anything that the completion of my intended piece would achieve in comparison to what I am presenting. The aspects of my aforementioned idea were to engage my audience into a dark very confined space that utilized stairs to convey a sense of disorientation. It was a project that would explore the interaction between people and art. Prodding into how one provokes an audience into becoming interested in this interaction and in participating. This Apology does encompass these aspects in a communicative and very time-based manner versus the latter which served as a concrete model. It is forcing the participation of my classmates (you) into talking about how you feel about my statements, which in turn are very confined thoughts specific to me and may (or may not) disorient, or startle some of you. I am also willing to procure the idea that this is more conceptual. Working with my previous piece I noticed I became apathetic to it because I myself didn’t find it able to evoke a sense of curiosity and confidence that was required.
Because I began writing this as an impulse I do not think that this should take away its warrant as a legitimate performance. A friend referenced this in the context of Marcel DuChamp, suggesting a lackadaisical or lazy quality on my behalf. Although untrue, in one facet he was correct: by correlating the two through the aspect in which we delimit the “rights and wrongs” or art. Regardless of my decision to acquit my obligation to the orphan I am presenting, it is now a new type of performance. A performance exploring what is acceptable within the context of art. One can not be held accountable for vagrancy within an original intention. It is a reflex, and this is my defense to combat any controverts in a well thought out and affective dissertation.
